


The Resurrection of Ben Solo

by idrilhadhafang



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Amnesiac Ben Solo, Angry Poe Dameron, Canonical Character Death, Grief/Mourning, M/M, Memory Loss, Not Reylo, Past Character Death, Past Poe Dameron/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Past Poe Dameron/Kylo Ren, Past Temmin “Snap” Wexley/Kare Kun, Poe Dameron Is Not A Douchebag, Poe Dameron Needs A Hug, Post-Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, Protective Poe Dameron, Protective Rey (Star Wars), Sad Poe Dameron, Sorry Not Sorry, Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker Fix-It, Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker Spoilers, Temporary Amnesia, Wakes & Funerals
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-21
Updated: 2019-12-21
Packaged: 2021-02-25 22:02:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21882697
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idrilhadhafang/pseuds/idrilhadhafang
Summary: It’s a long road ahead, but Poe Dameron’s looking for someone.
Relationships: Poe Dameron/Ben Solo, Poe Dameron/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 2
Kudos: 26





	1. Last Rites

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: If I owned Star Wars, we wouldn’t be in this situation, would we?
> 
> Author’s Notes: Call this something I’m working on, possibly before I do a trilogy rewrite. I figured a continuation would be a good way to get back into the swing of writing fic. 
> 
> Figured I’d take advantage of an alleged “never found a body” Tweet from DLF mentioned in the Star Wars Multishippers Chat and tie up some loose ends.

They had won. At a heavy price — they had lost plenty of good people. Even after the hugs and cheers, Poe knew that he had plenty of grief to deal with, especially when Rey confirmed that Kylo was dead. 

”He can’t hurt you,” Rey said. “Ever again.”

That shouldn’t have felt like a punch to the gut. 

“I knew it was Ben,” Poe said softly. 

Rey stared at him in disbelief. “Of all the things you mentioned...you never mentioned him at all.” A beat. “Being a spice runner, knowing Ben...is there anything else I don’t know about you, Poe?”

Poe smiled feebly. “The truth is, Rey, it hurt too much.” He tried not to think of a face over a communications screen, brown eyes that were too expressive, much like Leia’s. “You know I became a spice runner before I joined the Resistance. I didn’t say why.”

Gods, it was painful to think about. That awful night. 

Poe sighed. “It was the night of Ben’s fall. Luke...contacted me, Leia and Han to tell us that Ben had tried to kill him, then burned his Academy down. I knew, of course, that there was something wrong with it. Ben wouldn’t just suddenly...snap. I knew that there was something creepy about that gardener fellow that he was in contact with. I couldn’t put my finger on it. It was just a gut feeling, like something was wrong. I thought Ben was being moody. But I didn’t think he’d hurt anyone. I mean, if we all turned to the Dark Side because we got moody, wouldn’t we all be in trouble?”

Rey nodded. She looked grim. 

”Luke was evasive when I asked why,” Poe said. “And then he waltzed out of everyone’s lives for kriff knows what reason. And Leia...actually asked me to join the Resistance because she needed all the help we could get. I couldn’t. I’d seen the horrors of war in the New Republic Navy. And then she told me that Ben fell.” Poe laughed, all but despairingly. “I couldn’t kill him. She was...pretty vague on if I had to kill him. But I couldn’t do it. I just...”

”You loved him?” Rey actually sounded shocked, and even a bit embarrassed — like she had somehow overstepped. 

”Yeah,” Poe said. “I did. And he loved me...or I thought he did. Before he invaded my damn head.”

Rey bit her lip. “Poe,” she said. “I had no idea. I’m sorry.”

”Not your fault,” Poe said. “Nothing you can help.” It dawned on him that it was one of the few civil conversations that he and Rey had. "I’m glad that he had someone with him...for the end. Someone who cared about him.”

Rey sighed. “It’s funny you say that,” she said. “We...might have kissed. Now I don’t know what I was thinking. If it was the heat of the moment...”

 _Civil moment’s gone. “_ Rey,” Poe said, “How well did you know him?”

He regretted it seeing the flash of pain in her eyes. “I didn’t,” she said. “Though given that Palpatine apparently had a role in Anakin Skywalker’s creation...we could have been...” She trailed off, almost like that realization was just occurring to her, and she found it distasteful. Then she took a deep breath. “Poe,” she said, “The truth is, I felt a kinship with him. I felt sorry for him. And when he was kind to me, I thought there was a kernel of something in there. Even as Kylo Ren, there were moments of good in him.”

”I can believe it,” Poe said. He sighed. “I’m sorry. I guess...but it’s stupid to get jealous now. Like some sort of idiot fighting over his ex-boyfriend like he’s a prize to be won.”

Rey smiled. “At least you’re honest.”

Poe could feel a smile tugging at his lips. After everything, after Snap being murdered, after Ben’s redemption followed by his death, it felt good to smile. 

”I guess I should also apologize for other things,” Poe said. “I know I’ve been prickly lately. Snapping at Threepio, treating you badly, treating Finn badly. Jess might have torn me a new one about how bad I was treating people, and droids; I honestly had no idea.”

”I like her,” Rey said lightly, and Poe laughed. Then, more seriously, “But that’s why I became a spice runner, Rey. I couldn’t bear the idea of being the one to kill Ben. I was selfish, probably. But...”

”You were human,” Rey said softly. “Besides, if you turned off your attachment to other people, or tried to...you would have been like Kylo.”

Poe already felt a chill going along his spine. Then, feebly, “Imagine that. I know I wouldn’t want that." A sigh. “And then I went back to the Resistance. I couldn’t bear what the First Order was doing. I guess I just wish that I could have said something to Ben. Gotten answers as to why he did what he did.”

Rey swallowed. “I doubt he’s really gone, Poe,” she said. “He’s with the Force now. Like his grandfather before him.”

”Yeah, a whole damn family history, and for what?” Poe said. It was unfair, snapping at Rey, and he said, “Sorry. Just...what a mess. What a kriffed up mess this is.”

He sat down. If possible, he thought, he would have swept at least something off the tables. His soul ached, his body ached — he was ready, more than ready, to just go somewhere and be done with it. 

Hesitantly, Rey sat next to him. ”I’m sure,” she said, “He’s still with you. Even if you can’t see him. And besides, the Skywalker line isn’t dead. I did research, and some people suggested Anakin himself might have been Palpatine’s grandson, from a certain point of view.” 

”Whatever spice they’re smoking, I don’t want it.”

”I’m choosing a last name for myself,” Rey said. “It’s about time I did. I can’t be Rey Nobody forever.” A beat. “And Luke, Leia, Han...in a way, they were the first family I had. I’m not truly Rey Skywalker, but I’m not Rey Palpatine either. It’s just a part of my identity I’m forging.”

”Right on,” Poe said. “He might have made your parents, although the very idea of the Emperor having sex would give anyone nightmares...”

Rey looked like she was torn between being offended and trying not to laugh. 

Poe became more serious. “But he’s not your family. Family doesn’t hurt you. Not good family, at least. And the thing is, you can find a family. With whoever you want.” 

”Why, Poe,” Rey said lightly, “You said something wise.”

Poe laughed. It felt good to laugh, after what happened. “I’m hit-and-miss with the wisdom thing. But I’m glad it worked.”

”In all honesty, Poe,” Rey said, more seriously, “Thank you.” A smile. “Keep that up and we might be friends.”

”I’d like that,” Poe said. He sighed. “Gods, I have to arrange everything. Leia’s funeral, Ben’s, Snap’s...I can imagine Kare’s gonna suffer plenty when she finds out.”

”Kare?” Rey said. 

”Snap’s wife. I was actually there when they got married.” Poe’s lips twitched even as he tried to hold back the tears. “Should have been a beautiful ceremony. Still beautiful, even though just about everyone farted.”

Rey stared at him, disbelieving, but also amused. “Seriously?”

”Yeah. Guess that’s how I knew their marriage would get off to a great start; you fart on your wedding day and you still love the person you marry.” Poe grinned. “That’s love. You love the person, bodily functions and all.”

Rey wrinkled her nose, clearly amused. “Everyone farts, Poe.”

They laughed, almost uproariously. And then the tears came, and Poe was grateful for at least having an excuse to cry.

Rey held his hand then. And Poe, right then and there, was grateful. 

***

”People of the Resistance...we won this day.” 

Poe stood before the Resistance in the command center, and already he felt like he would need some heavy, heavy alcohol to get through this. 

”We didn’t win without great losses,” Poe said. “Everyone who fell in battle or otherwise was a damn hero. From my comrade-in-arms, Temmin Wexley, better known as Snap, to General Organa, to her son, Ben Solo.”

Murmurs broke out through the crowd. They clearly hadn’t known Ben was Kylo. Had been Kylo. 

”I might as well start with Snap,” Poe said. “Snap was a good man. An invaluable pilot, willing to follow me through to the end. And I saw him and Kare marry. I saw how they loved each other, worked together. I saw how Snap was willing to sacrifice everything against the First Order. Sharp, funny, loving...he was a big man, and his heart matched him. And...I think Kare can say more that I can’t say.”

Kare had flown all this way just to say goodbye to her husband, even though there was no body to bury. She stepped up. 

”Snap was the best husband one could ask for,” Kare said. “Loving. Caring. Kind. Loyal. Our wedding might not have gotten off to a good start,” and here, she smiled faintly through the tears that were coming, “But the marriage ran smoothly. It was an honor fighting beside him, as his comrade-in-arms and as his wife. Even if the word ‘wife’ doesn’t do justice to what we shared. How precious the time we had really was.”

Her voice cracked. Poe squeezed her shoulder. It was the best he could do, all things considered. 

They continued. Sharing memories of Leia (Lando was there, and he seemed to have even forgiven her for goading Chewie to choke him after Han got frozen) — too many to count. And Ben. In that moment, no one remembered Kylo Ren — just Ben Solo. Jedi, hero, friend, lover. 

Poe could be grateful for that, at least. Rey had to leave, of course — said she was going to Tatooine to pay her respects to Luke and Leia. To mourn. Poe knew he couldn’t duck out. He had to stay. Stay with the memories. Stay with the desire to break Palpatine apart; pity (though also awesome) that Rey had blasted the bastard into oblivion. The desire to resurrect Ben and shout at him for what happened. 

He hated Ben. Did he? He loved him too. 

He watched as Zorii mingled with Rose, Rose seeming in awe and impressed by the bounty hunter. Zorii actually had her helmet off. Poe had entertained the idea of being with her, but it wasn’t fair to use her as a replacement for Ben. Had Ben just kriffed up his ability to form romantic relationships too? 

Poe only knew something that was very certain. 

He had to go to his quarters, and get very, very drunk. 

***

The benefit of getting drunk alone was the fact no one had to see you making an ass of yourself. 

The downside was that you were alone. And even watching an old, cheesy holo, Poe drank just to bury the memory of Ben. Drank until he passed out, and thankfully, his sleep was free of dreams. He didn’t know how he would have dealt with his dreams otherwise. 


	2. Qara

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Force is kind of an asshole.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I unfortunately don’t own Star Wars. Otherwise, Darkpilot would be canon. 
> 
> Author’s Notes: Planning a triple update right now. Because I’m not losing momentum on this.
> 
> Also, yes, this is an abbreviated tribute to KOTOR II’s Peragus level, though it was a pain to play when I was first learning the controls. Hell, call this a general KOTOR II tribute with amnesia and a redemption arc thrown in.

It was when Ben

_yes, that was his name, wasn’t it, Ben_

woke up that he realized he was naked, and that was enough to chill him to the bone. Slightly literally on the chills part, he couldn’t help but think. He strained, trying to think of what had happened. There had been a girl, yes, a girl with three buns in her hair, and she had been lying prone on the ground. He’d had to save her, someone he’d felt a strange kinship with — where was she? Was she safe?

And there was someone else. A man whose kisses burned like wildfire. Whose lips, simply, felt so soft, so safe. Hair that Ben could lose his fingers in. Thick black hair. There were all sorts of fragments in his head, fragments that didn’t make sense. He already felt so weak, so fragile, so drained, and he didn’t even know where he was...

He was in some sort of strange architecture, beds that seemed too hard, walls that seemed to imprison. 

_I’m dead, aren’t I?_

He wished to hell he knew where that thought came from. And he wished he had some clothes. Clothes would be nice. He couldn’t imagine wandering around the hallway in his underwear. 

(Hadn’t the Jedi Exile met her husband that way? Ben couldn’t say where that thought came from)

What had happened to his clothes anyway? Who could possibly have happened that required the inhabitants of the facility to strip him naked? Was he naked on arrival?

_Don’t you have a cowl or something that you can put on?_

Okay, his mind just had to be making noises at this point. 

He found clothes. That was good. Different color uniforms. For some reason, white or black wouldn’t do. White —

— _a man with a green lightsaber looming over him, and a spike of terror —_

or black. 

— _rise, Kylo Ren, and begin your training_ —

Somehow, the orange...he couldn’t describe it. Even looking at it, at the almost eye-searing orange, Ben couldn’t help but think of a man, of a smile, bright and warm, a gentle laugh. He blinked. Somehow, this man...he struck a chord. And this wasn’t some fevered figment of Ben’s imagination. There was enough rushing back where Ben knew, just knew, it was a memory. 

He knew. 

It just seemed so familiar, so near, and Ben blinked back tears, though he didn’t know why. 

Still, orange would do. Orange was safe, at least. He could dress in orange; at least orange was going to keep him safe. And of course, at least he wasn’t in his underwear anymore. That was a plus. 

It was even large enough to fit him. Still felt stretched over his chest, though. Over his arms. 

The halls of the facility — on a distant planet called Qara, a drilling colony, according to logs Ben managed to access — seemed to stretch out forever, and when he actually found another survivor (a redhead in a Force cage), he was looking for something else, more supplies. 

The redhead’s face seemed to go through a multitude of expressions before settling on being flabbergasted. “How did you get here?”

”I was...” Ben sighed. “I’m not gonna hurt you. You look like you’re in a bad spot.”

The redhead shrugged. “Kind of an understatement.”

“Who are you, anyway?” Ben said. “I’m Ben.”

”Ellana. You can call me Ellie.” Ellie looked over him critically. “Nice outfit, by the way. Didn’t think that stealing uniforms was gonna become the new fashion trend, but there you go.” A beat. “Orange really isn’t your color.”

”How’d you end up in there?” Ben said. 

Ellie shrugged. “I had a mind of my own. First Order folks don’t like that. So they locked me up.” 

”Sounds like them,” Ben said. Though he couldn’t say that he had heard of this First Order before. Then, “So what happened to them?”

Ellana snorted. “After that whole final battle with the First Order, people in the facility rioted. Just about everyone’s dead. The prisoners left...guess they forgot me.” She sighed. “Been trying to find a way to turn Force cages off from the inside, but it’s a no-go.”

Ben swallowed. Could he trust this woman? Then again, he needed a companion off this miserable facility, and leaving a woman in a Force cage was no doubt a terrible thing to do. 

_You’ve been given a second chance, kid. I know you can do it.  
_

That voice, and that face — aged, white-haired, but still handsome and grand. 

_**A lightsaber flying in an arc into the ocean...** _

Ben blinked. His mind wasn’t just making noises, was it? 

”I’ll help you,” he said. “But if you do anything to stab me in the back, I won’t hesitate to kill you. I need to survive.”

”Feeling’s mutual,” Ellana said. “ ‘Course, we need to scan the levels and see if there’s anyone still alive. Anyone we can help, or anyone we have to take out.”

Ben nodded. 

It was deactivating Ellana’s Force cage that Ellana sighed in relief. “Thank the stars I’m out of here. Come on, let’s get to the command console.”

It was getting there that Ellana sighed. “Looks like the prisoners did some real damage to this thing. Just have to do some tinkering.”

“ _You did it, kiddo; you found the hydrospanner! You’re so smart...”_

Ben blinked. There was something so familiar, so welcoming, about that voice...

”Reality needs you, you know?” Ellana said. 

Ben nodded. “Sorry. Had a pretty messed up time waking up.”

”I noticed,” Ellana said, even as she rummaged through the plasteel cylinder, pulling out repair parts and working at the console. “How’d you end up in the morgue anyway? And why were you stealing uniforms?”

”I was in my underwear,” Ben deadpanned even as he helped her — somehow this felt easy, like muscle memory. 

”Stang, how’d you end up in the morgue in your underwear?”

”No idea.”

”What alcoholic beverage were you drinking so I can avoid it?”

”Good question,” Ben said. Whatever he was drinking when he ended up in the morgue of a First Order facility in his underwear, he would never touch it again. 

Ellana grinned. “Fixed! Console’s ours.”

Ben couldn’t help but smile. “You know your stuff.”

Ellana shrugged. “I had practice. Where do you want to start?”

Ben sighed. “The logs. Thinking that we should know exactly what happened since I passed out.” A beat. “And remind myself that I apparently can’t hold my liquor.”

”Well, it’s a short story,” Ellana said. “The Resistance vs. the First Order. Resistance won. Apparently Poe Dameron’s Chancellor now.”

”That name sounds familiar...”

Ellana snorted. “Should. He was at the battle of that Sith homeworld...Echoland or something. He’s rebuilding the Republic. Though I don’t know how the Republic’s better. The Republic’s just a bunch of third graders on the playground who somehow got trusted with the lives of billions. Who’s to say that they’re not gonna kriff up again?”

Ben raised an eyebrow. “You think the First Order’s better?”

”Well...” Ellana sighed. “I used to work on the Base. Just a technician, really, nothing special. The First Order...they promised people they’d have a better life if they came here. My planet...the Republic couldn’t give a damn about it, even when people were dying. Apparently if you’re not Naboo royalty, no one gives a damn about you.” Her voice was thick with bitterness. “ ‘Course, the First Order went nuts. Especially with that Kylo Ren person. I never saw his face in propaganda posters and such, but he did a lot of horrible stuff. Guess when I get out of here, if I get out of here, I’ll just take Team Kriff Everything.” A beat. “Stang, what do you even think of me?”

 _Kylo Ren._ That name hit Ben like a speeder out of control. It felt sickeningly familiar. 

”You,” he said, “Aren’t a bad person. You were tricked.”

Ellana nodded. “I guess that’s good. I guess. I’ve been kicking myself for a while for even joining up with the First Order. I should have sent the Republic a strongly worded holomail or something.”

Ben chuckled. “That would be something, wouldn’t it?”

Ellana nodded. “But yeah, after the First Order’s fleet got destroyed, everything kind of destabilized. And...here we are.”

Checking the logs confirmed what Ellana had said. Checking the cameras...it seemed that the facility was dead. Cut down. Even looking through the cameras just spoke of the aftermath of a massacre. Ben supposed that getting to the hangar should be easy from there. 

”We just need a ship,” Ben said. “Then...well, who knows where we’re going? Anywhere besides this facility.”

Another nod from Ellana. “No arguments there. If I never see the inside of a cell again, it’ll be too soon.”

“If I never wake up in my underwear again, it’ll be too soon.”

Ellana smirked. “I like your humor, Ben. You might be a good traveling companion.”

Tinkering with the console was enough, at least, to get a droid answering them. A BB unit that went by the name of BB-9. The droid was hostile, and Ben could already feel his frustration building. 

”Settle down,” Ben said. “We’re not going to hurt you.” A beat. “Who mistreats a droid anyway?”

Ellana shrugged. “Some people do. Shame, really...they’re incredibly smart. Can do things that put us sentient beings to shame.”

Somehow, Ben liked her more and more. 

”We just need another route off this level. Can you do that?” Ben said. 

A series of questioning beeps. 

”Your tormentors are dead. You can forge your own path.”

_Let the past die. Kill it if you have to.  
_

Ben winced. Where had that even come from? 

Another series of grudging beeps. BB-9, at least, seemed to be getting behind that. 

”Good to hear it.”

”So she,” Ben said, “Says that she can do some tinkering, just to get the emergency hatch open.”

Minutes later, the BB unit indeed came through. It was heading into the tunnels that led to the hangar, and picking up BB-9 (who made another snarky comment about Ben’s newly acquired taste in orange) that Ben said, “So are we getting a ship, or are we floating to our destination?”

Ellana nodded. “The administrator’s ship, the Black Dragon...you’ll have to do some tinkering to get the security down. But it’s our best bet. The other prisoners took the shuttles. Good on them, really.”

They broke out the _Dragon_. Even as Ben headed towards the cockpit, Ellana said. “You can fly a ship?”

”I can,” Ben said. “I think.”

Ellana sighed. “You’ll need a copilot. And BB-9.”

And seated in the cockpit, he could remember. His hands, gripping the handles in a TIE Whisperer so hard it hurt, at least before the girl from before backflipped onto the TIE and sliced it. 

A TIE. Had he been a TIE pilot? Somehow, it felt more important than that...

He didn’t have time to debate. They lifted off. 

”Nar Shaddaa‘s a good place to hide as any,” Ellana said. “I heard. No one will think to look for a couple of misfits and their droid from a crumbling First Order facility. They’ll come looking for me. Probably you too.”

Ben couldn’t argue with that. He didn’t like the idea of hiding on a planet that apparently was a breeding ground for crime. Still, he supposed he had no choice. 

An amnesiac with bad fashion sense and a former First Order technician, and their BB unit. On Nar Shaddaa. 

What could possibly go wrong?


End file.
